A Healthy Marraige with Kids

One of the biggest challenges with having kids is how to maintain a happy marriage while dealing with the dramas of parenting.

  • Put each other first – reinforce this in front of kids by hugging/kissing your spouse before the kids when you first meet. This is the most important thing you can do for yourselves and your kids.
  • Your kids don’t have to be happy all the time – sometimes it’s an important lesson in self-sufficiency to let them figure out how to be happy without your intervention. It’s ok to say “No” as a parent. It’s ok to aknowledge their emotion and not try to override it with your own idea of what they should feel.
  • Be present and tuned to the needs of your children, and follow your instinct in how to respond to them. Children are smart and usually have a good reason behind what they are asking for, so ask why and listen.
  • Say Sorry When you make a mistake, tell your kids and spouse that you are sorry in a genuine way. It goes a long way in avoiding resentment.
  • Moms – don’t tell dads how to behave around kids, let them be a father their own way.
  • Dads – do housework to turn women on! Put in your share. Make a chore list and divide it up.
  • Say “Yes” to your partner more than “No”. Be positive most of the time.
  • Reinforce each other on decisions in front of the kids. Be consistent no matter what.
  • Use a lot of thank you’s and please’s when asking your partner to do things. Appreciation goes a long way.
  • Exercise together as a family!
  • Make sex a priority.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff, save the arguments for the big issues. Sometimes it does more damage to kids to witness an argument than the thing your are arguing about.
  • Don’t expect to change everything you don’t like about your partner. Accept them for who they are and life will get much easier.
  • Have an adult conversation with each other instead of watching media/surfing the net.
  • Leave one day a week a “no tech” day when everyone in the family is prohibited from using technology/tv/internet. It’s surprisingly refreshing and brings the family together.
  • Flirt in front of your kids.
  • Find qualities you find attractive in your mate and focus on those.
  • Resolve Conflicts By listening first, trying to understand deeply the other’s point of view, and coming to an honest common ground. Avoid criticism, comptempt, defensiveness, stonewalling.
  • Take some time for yourself

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